endless moonlight

gonna blog in proper english for some blur person who cannot read in shortform. im so considerate.

ANYWAY,

dance is depressing. not becoz i dont like dance, but becoz i cant dance well.reaction time way too slow and memory sucking.feels like im letting the instructor down, i know he's trying to be nice in many ways.maybe practise will help.hope so. maybe im setting too high standards for myself, but.... i work this way.ya.


depressing.


nothing's helping. parents are arguing again. becoz of some dumb reason ->one of them slamed things loudly then the other person nt happy. ] den now they're saying each other is dumb indirectly.


urgh who really cares. blocked them put a long, long time ago. blocking out stuff....its a good way of preventing yourself getting hurt or whatsoever. u dont care in the end. but it makes you a bit cold i guess./ ha.


my younger brother is nice in a way.i guess. he saw the big, beautiful dark red bruise like those u see on tv on my knee i got from modern dance n helped me put cream on it =_=""|| and told me some advice, not to run but WALK slowly instead.


i was like ERRRRRRR and brushed him away. but oh well, i appreciate the effort, however futile it may be. i realised with not much enthusiaism(<-spelling?) that dark red bruises are not as painful as those blue black ones in the "long term". although the dark red ones will hurt like crap after you just hit it. which was what happened, btw.



man i cant stand people who pretend to have no 'bad'pride and back away from a quarrel like some noble person, but actually knowing that you can keep your pride in the end.


e.g. saying that you wont do that job anymore, but actually knowing very well that the other person really needs you to do that job, so that you can gloat when the other person comes and kinda 'beg' you to go back.



so.


generally i hate pretendence. like when people act out of their character around those "popular" people to gain acceptance and become "popular" too.


they are as bitchy as those girls in those western movies in my opinion. its just that the asians act in more subtle ways. silently dangerous.


oh man i hate that.

and i cant help it that some people in class are like that.